Air Travel Blues

While traveling recently I failed the gate inspection! I forgot just about everything. When looking through my "suspicious" handbag the TSA found three unsecured lip glosses. I was told that I could either trash them, or go back and bag them at the initial entry point to security with a 3 x 5 plastic bag provided by security. Have you purchased lip glosses lately?! So I said no problem, the line wasn't long, so I'll just go back through. That was my first mistake. I handed my carry on to the COL and walked with my handbag back to the POE (that's TSA for port of entry) and was going to proceed through again when I realized after frantically searching that I no longer had possession of my wallet and therefore none of my ID cards! Whoa! I'm trying to maintain my composure as I call the COL on the cell phone. No answer. Ditto with the Beave! AAAGGH! I'm getting flustered (that's a southern term for really aggravated)and the guard is eyeing me with suspicion . . . they won't let me page the COL for whatever reason . . . they finally decide (because the one guard remembers me from not five minutes before with my military ID) to process me through as an S3. I can only assume that must mean a "highly suspicious flustered anglo SAHM" and I get the FULL inspection treatment with the air puff booth and everything. AARGH!