Prop 8 and The Big O

California voters approved a ban on same sex marriages this past Tuesday, but it is already being challenged in the courts. So much for the will of the people!

What is the argument for legalizing marriage really about? Try talking to a gay friend from a Christian perspective and you will likely go in circles, for the argument becomes a circuitous one; due largely to two unyielding and polarized worldviews. I call that argument: The Big O.

The conversation goes as follows:

Friend, “We lost this round, but we will never give up the fight for equality.”

Me, “In what way do you feel unequal?”

Friend, “Well, we should be able to marry, legally, like any other couple.”

Me, “But you are allowed to have civil unions, and legally you can have just about any other legal contract, what is it about legal marriage that would make you equal, I mean what rights are you lacking?”

Friend, “We want to be recognized as normal in this culture, that our lifestyle choice is equivalent to heterosexuals’.”

Me, “Well, our cultures’ values are largely based on Judeo-Christian values. This is an age old arrangement put in place by G-d for the benefit of children and women, for their protection.”

Friend, “Yeah, but I’m tired of being judged! I don’t believe in G-d! Who are these sanctimonious people to tell me what’s right or wrong about the way I feel!”

Me, “So you’re saying you want to be accepted by a culture whose G-d you reject, whose values you reject? Yet you want them to sanctify a union that their value system cannot allow them to.”

Friend, “Yeah, what is the big deal?”

Me, “The big deal is that sanctity means the quality or condition of being considered sacred, it implies a holiness of life; G-d is the author of one man, one woman for marriage. How then, could we honor something that G-o-d explicitly condemns?”

Friend, “Geesh, I’ve said we should leave religion out of it! I want to be accepted as equal in this culture, as legitimate. Why is that so hard to understand?”

My friend and I will continue to argue in this circular manner, but we will never convince each other that the other one has a valid point.

No matter how good it makes me feel, I cannot go against what G-d has ordained.

And that is likely to remain true for as long as we’re friends. For as long as our culture maintains its Judeo-Christian beliefs, there will be no “normalizing” gay marriage. How long that will be remains to be seen, for I also see that what was once a solid Judeo-Christian value system is being eroded, even within the church. How sad, that Christ’s bride cannot hold true and fast. I remember what He said about being lukewarm!