Being An Army Wife

I attended a farewell gathering for a spouse who's husband has just retired. They are making their home in nearby Louisville (pronounced Loo-ee-ville, or Lou-ah-ville, depending on who you ask).

It is such a bittersweet thing for an Army spouse. Over the years we grouse about all the moving, the bad housing, the bad schools, our husbands who work 24/7 and certainly don't get overtime, but the one thing we have never complained about is each other. Oh, mind you, I've had a few bad experiences with some wacko-wives, but on the whole we have made the best friends and had a wonderfully rich and diverse life experience as Army wives.

So as this wife was getting all misty-eyed we all got a speck of something in our eyes as well. But we all agreed that it was a good, good life. We have no regrets about choosing to be a camp follower. Yes, we do choose it, because others have opted out along the way.

This was given to me years ago but still expresses it best:

What is an Army wife? An Army wife is mostly girl, though there are times, when her husband is away and she is mowing the lawn that she begins to suspect she is also boy. She usually comes in three sizes: petite, plump, and pregnant. During the early years of her marriage it is often hard to determine which size is her normal one. She has babies all over the world, and she measures time in terms of places, as other women do in years. "It was at Rucker that we all had the mumps." At least one of her babies is born, or one transfer is accomplished while she is alone--causing her to suspect a secret pact between her husband and the Army, which provides for a man to be overseas or on temporary duty at this times.

An Army wife is international. She may be an Arkansas farm girl, a French mademoiselle, a Japanese, doll, an es-Army nurse. When discussing their Army problems, they speak the same language.

She can be a great actress. Watching her childrens heartbreak at transfer time, she gives an Academy Award performance. "Arizona is going to be such fun. I hear they have Indian reservations ... and tarantulas ... and rattlesnakes ..." but her heart is breaking with theirs, and she wonders if this Army life is worth the sacrifice. One day later, en route to the new assignment, and filled with a spirit of adventure, she knows it is. That is, if the baby hasn't come down with a virus, or the twins with the measles.

An ideal Army wife has the patience of an angel, the flexibility of putty, the wisdom of a scholar, and the stamina of a horse. If she dislikes money it helps.

She loves to gripe. (Why shouldn't the commissary bag my groceries like the supermarket?) She lets off steam, then goes back to the present system.

She is sentimental, carrying her memories with her in an old footlocker. She often cries at parades without knowing why.

She is a dreamer, "We'll never move again;" an optimist, "The next place will be better;" a realist, "Oh well, as long as we're together!"

You might says she's married to a bigamist--sharing her husband with a demanding other entity called "Duty." When "Duty" calls, she becomes the No. 2 wife--and until she accepts this fact her life can be miserable.

She is many persons. She is the tired traveler coming down the concourse with a smile on her lips, love in her eyes, and a new baby in her arms. She is the colonel's wife smiling in a receiving line until her cheeks ache. She is the foreign bride in a strange American world. She is above all, a woman who married a soldier who offered her the permanency of a gypsy the miseries of loneliness, the frustrations of conformity--and the security of love.

Sitting among her packing boxes, with her children squabbling nearby, she is sometimes willing to chuck it all--until she hears the firm step and cheerful voice of that lug who gave her all this.

And then she is happy to be--HIS ARMY WIFE.