My friend Laura shared with me the title to a book someone gave her on healing after a loss. The title of the book is Tear Soup. Laura, who recently lost her wonderful, exuberant and loving husband to brain cancer said it was a help to her. I picked it up because I am also going through my own grieving process at the loss of this exceptional man who I counted as a friend, knowing full well that what I am experiencing is nothing, not even a tiny scintilla close, in comparison. Still, it has affected me deeply as a personal loss; and the sadness and empathy I feel for Laura is overwhelming.
Here in this little book is a short story for all who walk through that valley. It is illustrated brilliantly, saying things like "Not fair, bad news, big disappointment, serious heartache, profound loss, major loss and more than I can bear," which all go into a pot with "the memories, all the misgivings, all the feelings and all the tears she needed to stew in the pot over time."
In a simple, yet poignant manner this book speaks about how to grieve. In our fast paced culture we have lost the art of grieving. And it is an art. No two people grieve the same. And why should they?
My grief for losing Mark will be a totally different recipe than Laura's, but we can share a bowl from each others pot. And listen. And cry. And laugh. And remember. This sweet little book doesn't tell us anything we don't already know instinctively, but reading through it reminds us that it's Okay to go about it in our own good time and way, using our own individual recipe and ingredients.
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