Home Sweet Army Home

Here is a photo taken yesterday of our home at Fort Leavenworth. Great old Army house. Looks very nice doesn't it? Inside there is roughly 4700 square feet of wife killer dusting, vacuuming and stair climbing. Let's play word semantics and call the interior charming and rustic. Or as Betty commented on the kitchen the first time she saw it, "wow, Mom, you could so decorate retro!" Yes, I surely could. My moniker is June Cleaver, but I'll cast my pearls away if they would tell me they'd remodel the kitchen!

Plectranthus

I have a new favorite fall plant--Plectranthus--or Mona Lavender. I don't have anything against the ubiquitous fall mums, except they are so ordinary and common. The Mona is stunning! I paid as much for it as I would have for the boring old mum, but the colors are magnificent in their light purple flowers and deep green leaves, the underside of which are variegated deep plum. I took the plastic wrap from around the body and this plant just unfolded into grandeur. And if I am careful I can winterize it and keep it for next summer.

I hope I can keep it alive.

Blooming Where You Are Planted

Army spouses have long used the phrase "bloom where you are planted" to help us feel good about being constantly uprooted and replanted.

The last couple of moves I think the Lord has expanded that and used flowers to help me know that we are where He wants us. Five years ago when we moved from Fort Leavenworth, Kansas to Fort Knox, Kentucky he used a sunflower. The sunflower is the Kansas state flower and I came to love that simple yellow bloom, probably because I really enjoyed our time in Kansas. It was a good fit for our family. The sunflower became symbolic of a warm, folksy community, where kids still gathered in the summer for pick-up baseball games. And I adopted the sunflower as my logo. It was on my business cards, stationary and even in a potted plant in our home.

That made the move to Fort Knox a little painful for us. We had been in our new home for about three weeks and I was still feeling a bit glum about it. I was walking the dogs and when returning from the walk I happened to notice a small sunflower in among our bushes. There were no other flowers planted in that area. It was a fluke. Or as I took it, a sign from God! That one lone sunflower said to me that we were where we needed to be at that time. From that point on I looked for what He wanted me to do there at Fort Knox.

Then when our time at Fort Knox was supposed to come to an end after two years, Ward was asked to do an overseas assignment. He didn't have to go. We prayed about it and the decision was made. Still, last August, when I was out on a run and feeling lonely and overwhelmed, I questioned that decision. And then I looked up and saw an entire field of sunflowers! It was an affirmation that what we were doing was right. And this field of sunflowers had not been there the year before! I asked and it was due to some construction and new dirt in the field . . . or was just placed there just for me at a time when I needed it!! Because that's the way the Lord works.

This year we made a move again. This time away from Fort Knox and the wonderful friends that He had provided for us there. It was made even more heart-wrenching by the death of a dear friend and the timing seemed impossible.

We've been here at Fort Leavenworth almost two months and I'm still a bit dazed by the move and leaving those close ties. But here's the thing. Last week I was walking in our yard after clearing some land mines (hey, they are big dogs!) and coming along the side of our house I see a single yellow rose. This on a nearly dead rose bush that Ward and I had just weeks before thought about removing because it looked so bad and stubbly. We had cleared away most of the weeds but just hadn't gotten around to the hard digging out part. But there it was! And how I love yellow roses . . . so once again the Lord gives me a sign that this is where we need to be! The bush is a scrappy, haphazard mess. But zoom in on that beautiful single yellow blossom and tell me that doesn't give one hope. It's going to be okay.

Great Blue

Yeah, I finally get to post a pic of the Great Blue Heron that I see almost daily on my walk around Merritt Lake here at Fort Leavenworth.

Isn't he something? Ain't he a beaut!? He cooperated so very nicely in August when I went down to the lake, without the dogs!
I made a special trip back down to the lake hoping to find him and capture him on film. It took several attempts, as I usually spot him when walking the dogs in the early morning or after dinner time. I would get home, leave the dogs, grab the camera and usually by the time I got back to the lake he would be done with his morning feeding and off to the river, I'm guessing.

Anyway, this morning in late August he was feeding around the edge of the lake and I just followed. I stayed well back and didn't seem to bother his searching for fish at all.

Hitting The Wall

This happened to me the last time we moved into a 4700 square foot home. I've hit the wall in home decorating. Actually, I'm hitting several blank white walls!

We did quite well the first couple of weeks. Ward unpacked the boxes and organized them so it should have been easy to put things up. But no, this is an over one hundred year old house and it's going to take some time to make it feel like a home. That's because we have a budget of course, but more than that, there are just too many huge areas of space to cover.

The dining room was the easiest. We have a fireplace and that's a great place to place a picture. Between windows, a built in china hutch and my own china hutch there's not too much empty wall space. But the kicker here is that there is a wall ledge that splits the room horizontally and it breaks too high to even place pictures on. Hmmmm?

The kitchen and dining room went together relatively simply with standard items, although I had to use sheers on the four large living room windows because the walls couldn't support anything heavier without major drywall repairs. Ouch! Not going there.

The real trouble I am having is with the bedrooms on the second floor. Two of those will be guest rooms. We placed single twin beds in each of those, and we had some furniture for one room. But they still look rather empty and cold.

That's really what "decorating" is all about. You want your home, not so much as a showcase, but as a warm and inviting place for your family and friends to congregate.

I am so not there yet. And Army families don't have the luxury of time, of settling in over the years and adding a piece here and a something there over the years. After three years at Fort Knox we were just getting the feel of comfortable . . . now at Fort Leavenworth we have to begin again and get a whole new vision.

I'm having trouble with that. Sigh.

A Recipe Worth Sharing: Tear Soup

My friend Laura shared with me the title to a book someone gave her on healing after a loss. The title of the book is Tear Soup. Laura, who recently lost her wonderful, exuberant and loving husband to brain cancer said it was a help to her. I picked it up because I am also going through my own grieving process at the loss of this exceptional man who I counted as a friend, knowing full well that what I am experiencing is nothing, not even a tiny scintilla close, in comparison. Still, it has affected me deeply as a personal loss; and the sadness and empathy I feel for Laura is overwhelming.

Here in this little book is a short story for all who walk through that valley. It is illustrated brilliantly, saying things like "Not fair, bad news, big disappointment, serious heartache, profound loss, major loss and more than I can bear," which all go into a pot with "the memories, all the misgivings, all the feelings and all the tears she needed to stew in the pot over time."

In a simple, yet poignant manner this book speaks about how to grieve. In our fast paced culture we have lost the art of grieving. And it is an art. No two people grieve the same. And why should they?

My grief for losing Mark will be a totally different recipe than Laura's, but we can share a bowl from each others pot. And listen. And cry. And laugh. And remember. This sweet little book doesn't tell us anything we don't already know instinctively, but reading through it reminds us that it's Okay to go about it in our own good time and way, using our own individual recipe and ingredients.

On Pulling Up Roots

And having to replant!

We have moved. This move was pretty much like all of our others. The packing up at one end, racing to the new post with both cars stuffed to the max with luggage, the kid, the animals and various and sundry items needed to feed them.

But this time was so different. Moving is usually a hard emotional experience, it is one of the top stressful situations you can have in your life. But we had more than that on top of it. We had the roller coaster ride of additional stresses. The first being that Ward returned home from deployment. We have taken enough life management courses with the Army and we know that there can be a huge adjustment time, but we didn't get that. We had to pack out in one week!

On top of that was the death of a good, good friend that very same week. We had expected it, but maybe not quite so soon. God's timing is always good and to be trusted. We were able to be there for the final goodbye. But now my best friend and I are miles apart during this heavy duty grieving. I can't look out the window, see her and run and give her a hug or just run over to talk. The need to do that seems to create another huge sadness for us both.

So between unpacking and painting walls there is weeping. And a husband who probably doesn't understand though he tries.

This too shall pass.

I no longer try to force God's hand, but I wait patiently. I have learned something through walking with Him all these years. He will give me something to do here. He will help me replant the roots and it will be something that will delight my heart.